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Right When I Needed Her

by Kristen F
(Springfield, MO)

I had only met her a few times before, six years ago when I was a freshman in high school. I wrote a lot of journals on the internet, and she read them all, even though there were hundreds. We didn't talk much over the years when I moved away, but she wrote me an occasional email and kept up with everything that was going on in my life.

Recently, I experienced the most heart wrenching breakup of my life with a boy I had been seeing for over a year. I moved away and he couldn't take the long distance. Even though I changed my plane ticket to move back for him, he broke up with me after I had already made the change, and so I was going back home with no support from anyone because he had been my reason for going back. I got an email from the girl I had met in high school. She wanted to know how I was doing.

I told her everything that had happened. Without censoring anything, I wrote her an email explaining my predicament, how I was moving back with no support and how I was absolutely heart-broken. I hadn't known her very well before this, but I soon found out she was one of the most valuable friends I would have.

She wrote me back immediately, pouring out her support for me. She told me she had always known I was extremely strong and pure. My ex boyfriend blamed the breakup on me and she put me in the logical position to understand that this was not my fault, but a choice he himself was making.

She gave me the kind of encouragement I never found from anyone else and asked for the address of the place I would be staying at to send me "encouragement gifts".

Although the pain was (and still is) crippling a lot of the time, her encouragement is the only thing that is more overwhelming than the pain of the breakup. I know I am going to make it through and most importantly, I know my self value-- and understand that it is his loss, not mine, when it comes to the end of this relationship.

I am glad to know that he is no longer the proper keeper of my heart, and I understand that there are brighter plans for me. "I still cry sometimes, but its with a deeper understanding of who I am and what I am worth."

My friend showed up in the middle of my darkest situation, when I was abandoned by my boyfriend in a different country, and just through the encouraging words of an email, made me feel like everything was going to be alright. That is the definition of a good friend.

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