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It's not just Girlfriends that lie !

by Ian

Compulsive lying is not just something that is restricted to girlfriends. For every reference to (she) and girlfriend in the article, "she" could be replaced with "he" and any one of boyfriend, husband, father, brother. Or even sister, mother, wife or aunt.

My thought would be, girls/females that are lying compulsively usually have more than just a small weight on their shoulders. Whilst they were growing up not only was their environment probably negative in an emotional way but the structure wasn't there.

Compulsive liars don't realize they are lying nine out of ten times so it is hard to get them to believe psychological help would improve anything. They don't believe it's broken so fixing it seems ridiculous. Just my thoughts.

The fact of the matter is that lying is cross gender. But regardless of who is weaving the lies to their partner the end result is inevitably the same. "Destruction of the relationship."

This is something on which I feel particularly strongly about as in the end I needed to end a relationship due to my lying. I had fabricated such a web of ridiculous lies to my girlfriend that when I was about to finally get caught out I chose to stop seeing here rather than face telling her the real truth of the matter.

The lying revolved around my having lost my job but being too proud to let her know for fear of losing her. So for 9 months I painted a picture of a completely different life to that which I was leading. As I did not live with her it was fairly simple. When I met her for lunch during my lunch hour I would don a suit and hop on a train into town around 11:30 to meet her at noon. And I very carefully had to ensure that I did not meet her on the same train as I was supposed to have been in the office since 9am.

Finally rather than come clean I broke up with her for no other reason than I did not want her to know the truth and think badly of me. And for the rest of my life I will regret the whole pathetic lying saga as she was indeed perfect for me.

So lying, for me, is absolutely self destructive, and ultimately it is the perpetrator of the lies that is the loser, in every sense.

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