Friend or Lover - Are You Falling for a Friend?
Eventually, if we all get to live long enough, everyone tends to gets to a place where they get to discover a friend in their life that they feel strong emotional attachment to. It happens at least once to just about everyone who is walking the planet. The problem is always with the other person.
Sometimes, the other person feels the same way, but they are scared to take the next step. They don't want to ruin the friendship. However, what usually takes place is that the other person doesn't share romantic feelings with their friend. This is when the heartache really comes into play.
So would you rather keep him as a friend or lover? What takes place between the sexes when they are tortured with feelings of falling in love with their friend? This is a very delicate situation to say the least and here is why...
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The person who is in love will feel as if they have to walk on a very thin and tightrope. They'll feel that if they make the wrong move, not only will their chances for love become demolished, but they will lose their really cool, fun, and dear friend. They'll lose the person who shares their deepest secrets. They'll lose their "go to" person.
But on the other hand, a person in love will have emotions that can't be denied. It will be hard for them not to when they know their friend so well. When people meet for the first time, they usually have to go through a period of getting to know each other before they fall in love. However, friends know each other, so it will be easy for someone to know if their romantic feelings are genuine.
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Let's take a look at the consequences of what happens to both sexes if they don't act upon their romantic emotions for their friend. With regards to males, they tend to change the dynamic of being just a fun friend to becoming the knight in shining armor.
He'll become especially attentive. He'll be there for his female friend in every sense physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The problem is when his female friend doesn't feel the same way.
If she's selfish, she'll use him, knowing that he'll do anything for her because of his emotions. If she's fair and honest, she might suspect that he was only her friend because he had ulterior motives.
With regards to females, when they fall in love with their male friend, they tend to change the dynamic from being a cool girl to hang around, to becoming a cross between a bomb-shell and June Cleaver. She'll start offering to do laundry, clean his home, cook him dinner, and run his errands. She might make lots of sudden cosmetic changes in order to attract him sexually. Since women are far more emotional than men, she might even buy him cards, leave notes, or other tokens of affection.
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Sadly, lots of men will not only take advantage of her kindness and her advances, but they will laugh at her behind her back if they are secretly cruel. Unfortunately, some people who make great friends to hang out with make for cruel lovers if they feel vulnerable in that sense.
So, what is a friend to do if they find that they are in love with their friend? Is it a good idea to let your friend know about your feelings towards them or would you rather keep such feelings to yourself?
There is no other way to deal with this issue but to confess, and as soon as possible. They must confess their feelings to their friend. If the friend doesn't feel the same, then the friend in love must be prepared to pick their heart off of the floor, and lose a friend.
It's not fair for them to stay in a friendship when they want more. It's also not fair to make the other person feel discomfort. And it's not healthy for someone to set themselves up to be used, hoping for more.
The best perspective to have if someone finds that they have to end a friendship because they fell in love is that very few people stay in our lives forever.
There will always be new people to meet. If people can accept that then after the heartbreak, they will be free and open to meet someone who can love them in return.
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