Faithful VS Truthful
by Marie Cerrone
(Woodridge, IL, USA)
I believe you need to have both to be in a successful relationship. They both have two completely different meanings but only one has any wiggle room to some degree.
I'll start with the easy one, faithfulness.
This is something where there is no room to wiggle! You either are faithful or you are not, period.
If you are faithful you are not dating anyone else; not meeting up with anyone else, not kissing anyone else, etc. You have committed yourself to this person whether it be long or short term. I have been in a committed summer fling relationship for example.
I was interested in finding someone to hang out with and go to outdoor concerts, dinners, local festivals and a long weekend trip or two last summer. I was committed to this person for a three month relationship and at the end of the summer we said our goodbyes and parted ways. We didn't fall in love with each other but we did enjoy each others company and we had a blast!
Now for the truthful part.
I would have never met my summer fling if I wouldn't have been truthful on my profiles or when meeting men at social events. My profile was truthful and stated that I wanted to meet someone that enjoyed the summer months, being outdoors, concerts, cafes, trips to the beach (locally or out
of town). No promise of a long term commitment was expected by the end of summer the relationship would end unless we mutually wanted to continue seeing each other.
The wiggle room in truthfulness comes into play in this example. When I was filtering through the responses for my summer fling I would come across a profile that someone met 80% of my likes/wants.
If a response said that he loved to go to watch tennis matches and how did I feel about that? Knowing I hated watching tennis I would respond with an open attitude. "I haven't been to any/many tennis matches but I would be agreeable to go with you to one or two." So I fudged and wiggled around my dislike of tennis mostly because I felt the person I was pursuing could actually make this a fun day because we connected on so many other levels.
Choosing your truthful boundaries has it's drawbacks if you take it too far! There are differences that can be over come even if you stretch the truth a bit. Minor differences such as food or sports can be dealt with at the beginning and later revealed to a partner. But topics such as Religion or starting a family are serious topics that cannot easily be worked out if you don't agree.
Be true to yourself and tell a potential mate what you!