Want to Make Friends?
Discover Why Accepting Others is the Key
If you are like most people that I know...
Then you may agree with me that we all make friends because we want to have that sense of belonging to a group. That sense of belongingness is an essential need and integral part in human society that also contributes to a individuals' health and well being.
Most of us want to feel like being part of a smaller group such as family settings or a social circle. We may also feel the need to belong to larger groups. These may include anything from teams, departments, clubs, associations and parties. People have a deep seeded need to:
- Feel that they belong, (Communicating and listening are important for people to feel they belong.)
- That they are needed. (Listening and communicating enhances an individual sense of importance.)
Consider for instance, an episode in your life that you can remember when you were talking and sharing something verbally and then someone rudely cuts you off or ignored you. Remember how that made you feel and how you felt towards that individual? Not good at all or was it?
Im sure that type of episodes made you feel bad and taken for granted. What it made you feel like: is that the things you think, the worries you have or the ideas that come to you are not accepted.
- Obviously you will not ever want to make friends with such type of personalities or could you?
Consider for a moment the beginning of life for an infant. Research shows that at that young age, it is the attention of the mother which influences the young toddler. The motherly touches and soft voice makes the baby feels like it belongs.
As the young child grows other people enter into the picture of his or her life and that is when thing could either turn good or nasty. As the child grows though various phases in life they get exposed to others people including and not limited to; other family members, friends, teachers, employers, co-workers, spouse, his or her children and so on. Throughout all the phases, acceptance places meaning to the existence of that individual.
Now consider a slightly different scenario: If that baby does not receive the attention and acceptance it naturally needs. That will ultimately influence its emotional well-being. That child will most likely grow up feeling deprived and unacceptable. Unfortunately that will end up influencing the child for the rest of its life. Studies have shown that feelings of being unacceptable may lead to feelings of resentment, which can result in violent actions. Resentment may turn into anger and hostility and then violence.
- Accepting a person or not can make them or break them, as the old adage goes
Of course when we want to make friends with other people acceptance into new friendship should be unconditional. You should never give thinking to receive. When we get to make friends with new people there should be no commitment to fulfill and no strings attached.
Expecting something back when we enter into new relationships can cause resentment, since it can appear to be manipulation. You can never force someone to accept you.
Unconditional acceptance of others ideas, thoughts and concerns will always produce favorable results. Acceptance can lead to cooperation, which can lead to achieving a common goal. Acceptance is positive and fruitful. It helps to raise the self-esteem, the significance and the morale of the person who receives acceptance and respect.
Be accepting of others and you will find that they are more accepting of you. While considering how to accept people or have them accept you, you may consider taking advantage of various resources. You can find them both online and offline. For instance, numerous books, informative articles and seminars are most helpful.