Your Friends and Family
Does Their Social Status Matter?
Young people rarely give a second thought to the social status of their friends and family or financial wealth when choosing new friends.
However as we grow older we start to notice things like differences in our family and friends social standing and our thoughts begin to change.
The truth though is that while having very rich friends or very poor friends as a child may not have made a difference, when we get
older it can create all kinds of problems if we let it. Unfortunately, most people continually compare themselves to their acquaintances and that ends up affecting our opinions of ourselves and others.
Social Status of your Your Friends and Family
When I choose my friends it's based on compatibility. I am not a very trusting person in general so when making friends there is a long road before the bond is actually there. That road doesn't look at social status or wealth. It looks at honesty and loyalty. You can be wealthy and still be a liar and a back stabber.
- I don't look up at people for their "value" whether it be the money they had or anything else
Growing up in my house, we were middle class. I had rich friends and family relationships and poor friends and family relationships, it didn't matter. I noticed as I got older, it mattered to some of the people I knew. The wealthier kids started distancing themselves and forming their own little clicks. I am sure there was a lot of pressure at home by their families for them to conform to the social hierarchy of things.
I began to realize that although we were far from poor, my family didn't measure up. To some of my so-called friends it was my Italian background that pushed me out of the WASP (white Anglo Sexton protestant) crowd. To others it was other family members of mine who that weren't desirable, so I got labeled just for being related.
When I went out into the workforce I found that it tended to be much the same there. The only time the corporate big-wigs would mingle amongst the lower employees was at the Company Christmas party and even then they kept a safe distance. I have always known that I am a blue-collar girl and I am proud of it. I am not rich, although years ago I had married into money. Most people I knew thought it was going to change me. I surprised them all very much.
My financial gain didn't change who I truly was. I was still that ever loyal friend who would be the one you would call when your car broke down 2 hours away at 3am. I always came. Even when I had money and could have sent you AAA, I still got out of bed and came myself to get you.
- Must we only make friends within our social class or people with the same level of wealth?
I know that my father is a very well respected man in the community I grew up in. He earned every ounce of that respect by being someone you could trust. He didn't have to throw money around to make people like him. He just treated everyone the way he wanted to be treated and hoped that he got that respect back from atleast half of the people he knew. He taught me well.
I am now married again to a man I truly love. We are broke most of the time and most of our friends are broke too but, we're happy. So, even after 40 years wealth and social status are still the way some people pick their friends. I would have thought by now that times would have changed but, the song remains the same.
It's almost a form of discrimination when you choose your friends based on finances or social status. You never really give anyone a fair chance. I bet some people would be truly astonished if they would just for one day try to meet someone new and get to know them regardless of wealth or status, who knows the guy who carries your groceries to you car today could have a child who might save your life many years down the road. Times are changing ever so slowly, hopefully people are too.
Submitted by Guest
For instance if you are poor does that mean you cannot develop a deep friendship with someone wealthy? Or let say you are wealthy must you choose and associate only with people of your own class and level of wealth?
In truth, friendship is an emotional bond and does not depend at all upon external factors like money and status or pressure from other friends and family members.
In a practical way
though, the disparity in wealth can even be a beneficial thing because when you associate with people who are more successful, it uplifts you and compels you
to become successful as well. How about a free family and friend search?
Look at it this way, if wealth and social status were a requirement for true friendships then rich people would all be good friends and poor people would be
the best of friends. But we can see that is not so.
Friendship is based entirely upon emotion and if the attachment is strong enough, then money and status will not influence it.
However, member of family and friends must be able to overlook the differences that may exist between family and friends and allow the friendship to flourish. If one or the other begins to be uncomfortable with the friendship because of such issues, it should be discussed and resolved early on because if it is not the friendship could die.
Of course there will be plenty of pressure and concern exerted on the relationship from family members and other friends, but the good news is that a strong friendship can survive anything if the bond is strong enough. A weak friendship will die easily when there is strife from outside forces including friends and family.
Well just my two cents, what do you think?
Social Status of Friends and Family - American Society
"Conventional wisdom indicates that America is a classless society. All are equal with equal rights, opportunities, and responsibilities."
After being born in the United States and living here for the past 54 years, I have observed that this is far from the truth. If you look at any city in this country, you will see that America's social strata is a very significant basis for society divided into just a few classes.
There are people that are extremely wealthy -- the top 5% that the news media comments on that owns the corporations and essentially serves as a ruling class. There is a middle group which is predominantly Caucasian and manages these corporate entities. These are the Ivy League graduates who have gone to private school and excellent private colleges and universities and then move on to the big cities and manage the big companies. The remaining group consists of the regular workers who symbolically work, and probably shop, at Walmart.
My personal experience has run a little different from this. I grew up in a middle class family where my mother worked part-time as a piano teacher and my father was a college professor, not especially well paid. We were a large family and money was always a struggle.
- Social status of friends and family an observation on American-society
There is some social mobility in American society so that if you are well-educated and have good connections, your life can become somewhat better than average. Although my parents were always skimping and savings, they did own a house and they also realized that education was extremely important if their children were to become better off than they were. Three of the five children, including me, went to private school for high school
This came about as a result of my parents scrimping and saving for their offspring's education rather than having a new car, taking wonderful family vacations, or having luxury items in the home. Four of the five children went to excellent colleges from UCLA to Harvard with the fifth child attending an innovative computer programming school. We were somewhat financially deprived in our day to day existence, but good planning and lots of love made up for this.
This focus on education allowed all of us children to connect with other friends and family acquaintances who came from a better social class and consequently provided greater opportunities through educational exposure that surpassed what would have been available in public school.
No, none of us really moved ahead of our class, but exposure to a better social class and status opened some doors that led at very least to a better life or at least one that was more fulfilling than a career at the local Walmart. There is some room for social movement in American society.
Submitted by a visitor to this site
Will the social status of your friends and family affect your friendship?
Will the social status of your friends and family affect the kind of friends you choose and the type of relationships you will develop, keep and nurture both in the short and long term? Use the form below to share your views: