The Fear of Failure - 10 Reasons Why People Fail
Discover timeless tips on how to deal with and overcome “the fear of failure.” To be able to achieve your personal objectives and fulfill your personal fantasies, then one key impediment to overcome is the fear of failure. On this page you will learn how:
If you are like most people I know, then you will agree with me that it’s all too common for people to look into the mirror and ask themselves "Why me, why do I keep failing?" It’s from such profound fears that most people easily give up on themselves and suffer from failure to launch anything meaningful in life, thrive, have fun and be happy.
My friends, it doesn’t have to be that way.
The idea of being held in a compromising position with the threat of death is terrifying. The mere thought chills my limbs and paralyzes my movements, only to settle in my heart with pure disruption. I cringe at the thought of when it could make me vulnerable again.
I remember what happened two years ago today. I had just arrived home from work, and was anxious to start my homemaking routine. Dinner is always ready at 5pm, and my spouse expects his meal to be piping hot, delicious, and crafted with love. I went over to the knife rack and pulled out my carving knife.
The potato skins topped off the garbage can, and I realized I would have to take the garbage out. I walked outside the door and placed the bag on the porch. I knew my spouse would take the trash down to the receptacle in the parking lot later as always. Then I strolled back inside.
As I closed the front door, I felt an eerie feeling as the doorbell rang behind me. It was 4 pm, and it was a half hour too early for my sweetie. I shuffled back up to the door and opened it cautiously. A dark haired man with a cap pulled far down on his face looked down at me. The dusk rays beat down upon his hat brim, and his face seemed distorted. He had on a Home Depot vest with no name tag.
I became impatient as he opened his mouth to make a sales pitch. “Ma’am, I received a call that you need help with a broken refrigerator you recently purchased. I would like to come in and take a look at it. “I am sorry, you are mistaken”, I replied. We have not bought a new refrigerator.”
The man leaned forward until I could smell the repulsiveness of his cologne. His right hand was in his pocket, and the gleam of metal reflected in my eye. “Ma’am, you are the one who is mistaken.” He took another step forward.
All of a sudden, the garbage bag fell and toppled down the stairs. The man jerked his head around to see who was coming, and I slammed the door and locked it as fast as I could. I backed away screaming. I saw the shuffle of the knob as the perpetrator jerked it back and forth in a last desperate attempt. Two seconds later, I heard him running off of the porch.
I ran to the telephone and called the police in a hysterical state. I never realized that it would be the trash in our home that allowed me to escape a home invasion. These days, I have to go to the therapist two times a week. Nevertheless, the sound of the doorbell still bothers me. My therapist says it is a natural response to trauma. I have changed the ringing style of my doorbell three times since then.
By: Erika Castrita
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10 Reasons Why People Fail - Dealing With the Fear of Failure
In fact to your surprise, some failure is actually necessary and a fundamental ingredient on the path to huge success. As much as we all certainly don't want systemic personal failure or the possibilities of being paralyzed and at the mercy of the very nature of “the fear of failure” sometimes “to fail” is good.
Part of the secret to success is the ability to be able to turn fear in to an opportunity to excel. That is why on this page we share with you “tips on how to deal with failure” that may be confronting you from various situations and fronts. But before then, let us look closely at why people fail in consistent ways. Below are 10 reasons that prevent most people from reaching and achieving those goals that they deem important in their own life’s.
1.) Lack of action.
Now, this might sound absurdly obvious. But, we are talking about human nature here. It's one thing to talk about and think about and even write down your goals and plans on a calendar. But it's another thing entirely to actually take the actions necessary to achieving the thought-out plans. Reasons for lack of action may include: delusions about self-help programs like “The Secret” or related concepts; lack of energy due to to unrecognized poor health; lack of self confidence; or a morbid fear of failure (ironically).
2.) Bad conditioning
If you don't think this is a real possibility, then I have to assume that you don't think that parents or coaches or teachers are important in a young person's life. We have all been conditioned. Some of us have re-learned or overcome our conditioning, and there are those of us who were correctly conditioned for success. But most of us have to unlearn what we were taught because most of us have been conditioned for failure. Sad but true.
3.) Bad circumstances
So many of us have been taught that it's just our wills that make or break us. Circumstances mean so little. This is a lie. Circumstances mean a lot! Now, this does not mean that we are just at the mercy of circumstances. What's important here is recognizing that circumstances need to be recognized. If you don't think that they mean anything, then you won't face them and they will own you.
4.) Fear of Failure
We just mentioned above that you will be reading more tips on how to overcome the fear of failure but in brief, fear may be, and often is, more generalized. What are people who fail afraid of? Nearly anything. “Fear is the mind-killer.” As a matter of fact, people might even be afraid of succeeding. They might have a subconscious belief that their personal success will turn them into jackasses or self-centered egomaniacs.
5.) Quitters never prosper
You think that great success comes quickly? You're totally wrong. And you may even have a distorted view of “quickly”. It takes years and years of preparation and training to become successful at something.
When you give up, that's when you fail.
6.) Missing motivation
How many people who are obviously talented and highly intelligent get involved in some field or endeavor that they hate? They've been told in their educational development that they “should be” great at this or that or th'other thing. But nobody talked to them about what they loved or where their passions lay. If you are motivated to do something, you will probably succeed. On the other hand, if you are not motivated, no matter what your skills or intelligence level are you will most likely fail.
7.) Lack of patience
Impatience is oh too often the killer of giant ambitions. Things take time and our learning is slow. I am certainly not saying that you want to sit around on your butt, just waiting for things to happen. I am saying that when you are working toward your objective, have a realistic sense of the time it will take to come about or be brought to pass.
8.) Inability to control impulses
This gets many people by their butts. You have to resist certain things to ultimately succeed. You can't be caught up in the heat of the moment. You can't go out drinking beer when you need to complete an important project. You can't have sex with the next hot girl you see when you love and want to remain with your wife. Valuable things have costs even when they don't have price tags. Get the picture?
9.) Wrong focus
There are plenty of people who are more concerned about the process of a task than they are about actually completing and realizing the results of that task. This trait is quite often the problem of perfectionists. It's also a key to failure. The “fear of failure” on the other hand can make some people to focus on easier tasks that they deem to be easy to accomplish and run away from doing those important tasks that really ought to be done.
10.) Lacking self confidence
This is a tricky one, because there's also the possibility of being overly self confident. But that latter flaw is called “hubris”. That means that you think more highly of your own abilities or learning than you deserve to. Too many people, fearing hubris, fear to have self confidence. Without self confidence, you can rarely achieve anything of significance. You'll even find yourself sabotaging yourself.
You have to believe that you can do certain things. The trick is to have good reason to believe it. Did you read up on the topic? Did you receive good training on it? Have you studied or practiced it for a year or more? Have you been told a hundred times over that you are good at the kind of thing you want to do? If you can say “yes” to these questions, why then should you doubt your self?
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